Monday, February 16, 2009


“I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.” ---Carrie Bradshaw

I'm watching the movie "My Best Friend's Girl"(hilarious movie by the way if you have the sense of humor of a 15yr old boy-as I do) It's interesting....and it's so true. Women love assholes. This isn't news to any of us. We all know that fact by heart. We date and we date and we date. We date the nice guys, the assholes, the smart guys, the rich guys, the artsy guys, the normal guys, the marrying guys, and the list goes on. We play the part of the perfect girlfriend for each guy and find new and interesting things about ourselves in the process.....but what if the woman is the asshole?
I love the game, I love flirting and getting to know guys, etc. The roles change in some cases and in my case it sometimes is that way. AND IT WORKS Lance, for example. We have these lovely conversations and talk for hours about how much we have in common, and how great it is lalala. Then I start to lose interest a bit.... I stop calling as much. I cut the conversations short, I actually act pissy when I've had a bad day. And guess what? He sounds offended at first, starts to wonder if he really likes me after all....but then magically it turns into "Oh it's ok I'll put you in a better mood when I come visit! I'm going to make you smile!" blah blah blah And I'm turned off.

I know how it feels to be the asshole. I also know how it feels to regret it. I did it before with Weston. I let him go, we stayed friends, back and forth over and over as you've read in my previous blogs. He's still with her, he seems happy enough I guess. He's going to have a lovely little life with her and I'm left standing here going "Umm wtf did I do and where do I go now?"

Do I date this guy who's slightly annoying? Should I have stayed with Mike and put up with his crap? Do I keep dating and meeting guys that just don't make the cut? I just don't see how I'll find someone that I can slow down and just be with and let it happen and not worry about it and not have the drama. I'm picky, and I can be emotional, but I'm also very loyal, funny, and very loving. I make a kickass girlfriend, but only if the guy is man enough to handle me. Hmmm.

"...if you can find someone to love the you you love, well that's just fabulous." And it is! But here's the kicker, you have to know yourself and love yourself the way you are to let anyone else love you. Then it should be easy, right?? You meet the right guy and poof, like magic everything falls right into place. Ummmm perhaps in the movies but in real life it's not so simple.

But I digress...

We gonna rock down to Electric Avenue
And then we'll take it higher
Oh we gonna rock down to Electric Avenue
And then we'll take it higher

Workin' so hard like a soldier
Can't afford a thing on TV
Deep in my heart I'm a warrior
Can't get food for them kid, good God

Rock it in the daytime
Rock it in the night ...

Rock on ladies, rock on.


Maggie said...

I love reading your blog, you are really funny. Please don't be offended with my comments... I'm just thinking that maybe you should actually met Lance and spend some time getting to know him before you write him or any other guy you might date off. From your blog it seems like you play out the whole relationship in your head before anything actually happens, and then you act on your head stuff and not what has actually happened or is actually happening. Maybe you don't want a relationship. Maybe you just want the drama. Movies and TV shows are not the way things really are, they are just someone's imagination put on a screen to entertain us. Dull and boring we don't pay to go see, but relationships are dull and boring sometimes. Just a thought

RachelAnn said...

Maggie, I totally agree with you that I play things out in my head. It's one of my very bad habits. I over analyze everything lol. I realize that TV shows and movies aren't real. I just use them as reference to give people a visual or something to relate to when I write. I will admit that drama has some appeal but in all honesty I think my picky-ness is mostly due to the fact that I've dated enough guys to see early signs that I'm not going to be into someone. I'm still going to give Lance and chance (hey that rhymed!) but my gut is telling me it won't turn into a relationship.