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I was recently talking with a friend of mine about game playing and why we hate it. *Luke* is an internet friend that I met through Myspace. He writes a blog about dating, relationships, etc. and while he and I have some very different views on things we always have interesting debates. The one thing we can agree on is how much we hate fake people and how we wish everyone would just show their cards right away.
I find that so many people are desperate for love that they give off an image of what they think the other person wants to see. As *Luke* so eloquently put it, "If I went on a date wearing a Matthew McConaughey mask the woman I'm with would love the way I look, but it wouldn't be the real me."
The same goes for our personalities, our likes and dislikes. I've always been a very up front person. If someone doesn't like me, oh well. I don't want to ever feel like I have to put on an act to get someone to like me. The only friends and lovers I want are people who will love me for me and not want me to be anything other than what I am.
I am strong, I am independent, I am a closet romantic, I am sarcastic, I am sometimes a bitch, I am a go-getter, I am a hard worker, I am a lover, I am a fighter, I am a daughter, sister, aunt, friend, lover, I am me and that's something no one else can be.
Why is it that people are willing to change who they are to make someone love them? If that's what you're doing, then that person doesn't really love you. They love the you that you are portraying. It's sad, but it happens everyday. I think it's one of the biggest reasons for divorce. Ever heard the saying, "We grew apart. We had different interests than we did when we got married. I fell out of love with him/her." The thing is, that while everyone does change somewhat throughout their life, they don't really change that drastically. Could it be that what's really going on is that they stop putting on their mask everyday and eventually the real them comes out?
Have you ever worn a mask to make someone love you?
7 comments:
You know yes, there was a relationship where i "adjusted" myself in order to be more like that person and what i thought he wanted..boy did i learn from that! ;) lol. Now, thank God, i feel reformed..i may put it a bit of a guard initially but i choose to act and be like me bc i want someone to fall in love with ME and not who i can pretend to be.
p.s. love your 4th paragraph! =)
Hate to say that I have, but not anymore! I've really spent the last few months figuring out who I am and what I want instead of what I can do to make the guys in my life want me. This is me, take it or leave it!
I don't think I have.
I think you have to be true to yourself and you will find the right person to compliment you.
If you wear a mask, it might come off too late.
I'm guilty; I have. But, my honey doesn't let me. He's so wonderful. I think everyone should just wear a card around their neck that tells all that vital information. Then we just look at the cards to find the real person with a real match for us. hehe
Interesting post. I do think people change with time, but yeah, probably most of that changing is more just a case of relaxing back into their true selves.
No I never have and a lot of relationships ended because I couldn't be the person they wanted me to be.
I think a lot of people wear masks in the beginning because the first few dates are very shaky. We get turned off by the slightest things our date does that we don't like. It's easier to be forgiving when we have fallen in love. I believe that we shouldn't lie or exaggerate, but most people don't reveal everything about themselves in the beginning.
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